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Monthly Archives: March 2017

Give Boyfriend More Space

If you wish to make your relationship work in the long run, you need to make short-term changes in order to ensure that you can both breathe freely in your relationship. To do this, you need to give your boyfriend more space. When the word “space” is mentioned, it might conjure up images of distance and separation. These images may later lead on to disturbing thoughts of a breakup. If that is what is running through your mind right now, it is probably time to pause and actually consider what it means to give your boyfriend space. Remember this – “space” is NOT synonymous with “breakup”.

Giving your boyfriend space just means that you step back a little so that he will have the time and ability to go about his normal routine without feeling closeted in by you. Many men complain that their girlfriends don’t give them enough space and demand that they account for all their spare time. While this might seem interesting and even cute at the beginning of a relationship, it can become quite a strain as time goes by.

Your boyfriend might have goals of his own that he needs to work on. Or, he might wish to spend time with the boys or with sports that he loves. Further still, he just might want some time to himself to relax or sort things out. If you truly want your relationship to last, give him the time and space he needs. Consider the following points on how to give your boyfriend more space.

Ways To Give Boyfriend Space
The first thing you need to keep in mind to give your boyfriend time is to stop expecting him to spend every free minute either with you or talking to you over the phone. Understand that he has a life of his own, and until he makes a commitment to you in terms of marriage, he will still have a life of his own no matter how much you love each other. Understanding and accepting this will help condition your mind with regard to further steps in giving him space.

The second thing that you need to remember is that you should not make your boyfriend feel stifled with calls, messages, e-mails and other forms of communication from you. You might be more than happy to stop expecting him to constantly keep in touch. However, are you inundating him with excess communication? An occasional message or a sweet e-mail will touch his heart. However, if you take every moment you get to keep texting or e-mailing him, it will begin to annoy him over a period of time, no matter how much he loves you.

A third point to remember is to go slow on verbal expressions of love. Some women want to keep getting reassured as often as possible that they are loved and cherished. While this is natural and women do have the need to feel loved, expecting your man to keep on telling you that he loves you will end up annoying him. There are many ways in which a man expresses his love – these ways can range to a simple look, a touch, a gift or just an occasion he takes out of his busy life to spend time either with you or talking to you. Look for ways in which he shows you that he cares, instead of always expecting him to say that he cares. Apart from this, avoid repeatedly telling him that you love him. After a while, it becomes meaningless. In order for your words to really mean a lot to him, limit them and express them in a way that he will never forget.

Expect Too Much From Relationship

A good guy is still a good guy in a book or on the silver screen. He can still be head over heels in love with his wife and not cheat on her. He can still make her feel desirable and sexy. He can still make her feel that her opinions count and lets her be part of the decision-making of important purchases. And she can still make him feel like he’s king of her castle.

Most women aren’t looking for Superman, no matter how strong he is. They’re more inclined to look for Clark Kent who personifies a loyal, sensitive, good person.

They might drool over the good looks of Superman but they’d rather have Clark Kent, who comes across as dependable all the time, rather than just when an emergency occurs. Superman is always flying off somewhere to battle the bad guys. That can get old very fast. Most women want a man to stick around in the evenings to talk to and snuggle with; they don’t want him flying off somewhere.

The interesting thing is that money and good looks are at the bottom of the list. At the top of the list is someone who listens to her. She’s not looking for him to solve her problems; she just wants to tell him about them. And she’s looking for companionship, someone who enjoys her company and doesn’t make it seem like a hardship to spend a quiet evening at home with her or go someplace interesting with her.

There are always crises or arguments that have to be dealt with, both in the movies and in romance novels but, whereas we’re usually assured of a happy ending in books and movies, real life can be very different.

Maybe we do want more of the fiction in our relationships but, maybe it’s also necessary to have that little bit of romance with it too, to offset the large doses of reality that we have to deal with all the time.

About Love Is Painful

Love is a feeling, and your childhood shapes the way how you experience it. If you connect love with positive feelings like joy, you are unlikely to read this post. But what if you connect it with pain or struggle?
It’s something you should look at and heal with self-compassion. You can’t change the past, but you can create a better future. Take care of this little child within you that has lived through so much pain in love. Her childhood wasn’t easy. She has experienced suffering. Her parents may never have been able to give her the love she needed.

And you are a beautiful woman now, and you can give her the love she deserves. She won’t receive this from anybody else. Only you can give it to her. This way she can stop to look for love in painful places. The more you nurture the relationship with your inner child with compassion, the more you will free yourself from the influences of the past. Why should you change this? I know that you were an innocent child. You didn’t deserve to experience love as pain. But you can’t change the past. You can only create a better future. Healing isn’t obligatory. It’s a choice. I walked many years on the painful path until I decided to change. Going a new path is uncomfortable and sometimes frightening. As human beings, we love our comfort zone. We may sometimes even prefer the pain we know instead of trying something new. But before you decide what to do, just consider for a moment:

Forgive Anyone Anything

Not if I wanted to live. Besides resentment having a physical effect on my body that nearly killed me, it hurt me in so many other ways.

  • Divorce – I had no harmony to bring into a marriage. Only anger.
  • Estrangement From My children – Resentment had so hardened my heart that I became mean and unforgiving and you know what they say about stuff rolling down hill.
  • Unemployment – I took my anger out on people at work and could always justify my quitting over “their” wrong actions. But it was really my anger history that disrupted my work.
  • Alcoholism – Besides it being an inherited disease, my inability to deal with stress was a contributing factor to hiding in alcohol.

I want to assure you that with God’s help you can forgive anyone anything and you can stop allowing resentment to destroy your happiness.

Let me give you a few examples of some of life’s biggest resentment-makers:

  1. Abandonment: by parent, spouse or best friend.
  2. Abuse: Physical, mental, emotional or sexual.
  3. Betrayal: Cheating spouse or someone in authority.
  4. Favoritism: Being overlooked for someone else’s benefit, to your detriment.

I know you can think of many other causes that you’ve experienced that caused you to hold onto resentment much longer than you could have. But it’s hurting you and it can kill you.