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Some Tricks to Move On

Everybody has a good side. “True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” – Oprah Winfrey. Focus on the positive qualities of the person who has offended you. See how in the past they may have added value to you. Stay in the energy of gratitude for what they have done for you and you’ll eventually start to cherish them for real once again.

Feel free to define your boundaries. On the other hand, you may decide to limit contact if the relationship is dragging you down. You can still have affection and respect for someone but you may need to keep them at a distance at least temporarily.

Accept your contribution. In all likelihood, you probably played some part in the conflict. Acknowledge your actions and figure out how to make positive changes.

Look at it from their point of view. When someone fails to apologize, it usually has more to do with them than with you. They may feel ashamed or vulnerable. When you think about their pain, you may

Relationship Expectations

The extremes of relationship expectations occur like that akin to borderline personality disorder, where there are fine lines between love and hate. I mean to the point of holy deference, we risk sliding into loathing when they fail us. And they will. The point is, our expectations will place them in a position where they must fail us; they cannot possibly live up to the heights we decree them.

Putting anyone atop a pedestal is fraught with danger, even if those we place there have definitive responsibilities of leadership. Consider that they may not be perceived to have failed these leadership responsibilities, even if we think they have. Where does that leave us, if we think someone has failed us, but others think nothing of it?

It is easier to plan for the fact that people fail us. The higher we estimate a person’s worth, the worse we feel when they fail to meet that standard. This is not their problem. It’s ours.

When relationship expectations reach unreasonable heights, forgiveness becomes harder than ever. When

Long Term Relationship

Respect

It’s always recommended that you be open in your relationship. This calls for you to tell your spouse all the necessary details. The details should be both good and bad. While this is the case, you shouldn’t be disrespectful. When your partner makes a mistake, you should correct him/her respectfully. For your relationship to last for a long time, you should respect each other. As rule of thumb, you should never bring down your partner.

Maturity

Maturity isn’t acting all “grown up” such as not watching cartoons or laughing at booby jokes. Maturity is the ability to tell right from wrong, take responsibility for actions, and solve problems when you come across. If your partner is always blaming the government, traffic, boss or anyone else for something, he/she isn’t mature and you should be wary when working with him/her.

Responsible

Maintaining a long-term relationship requires both of you to be responsible. One common feature of a long-term relationship is children. The last thing that you want is living with a partner

Be Responsive in Relationships

Another Experience

Having said that, this might not be the case, and this means that even if one doesn’t take the first step, it doesn’t mean that they won’t talk, in fact, they could end up being the ones who talk the most.

And if one does take the first step, they could also be the ones who don’t talk the most. There is also the chance that each of these people will be in balance, and this will then mean that there will be times when they talk and times when they don’t.

A Good Way to Be

Through having this ability, it will give them the chance to create relationships that are in balance. If one could only talk and they were unable to listen, they wouldn’t be able to find out others.

Ultimately, they would be ignoring the other person’s needs and they could come across as self-centred. It might then be a challenge for them to develop relationships with others, and if they do, it could be a sign that it’s only because these people don’t value themselves.

The Other Side

On the other hand, if one

Give Boyfriend More Space

If you wish to make your relationship work in the long run, you need to make short-term changes in order to ensure that you can both breathe freely in your relationship. To do this, you need to give your boyfriend more space. When the word “space” is mentioned, it might conjure up images of distance and separation. These images may later lead on to disturbing thoughts of a breakup. If that is what is running through your mind right now, it is probably time to pause and actually consider what it means to give your boyfriend space. Remember this – “space” is NOT synonymous with “breakup”.

Giving your boyfriend space just means that you step back a little so that he will have the time and ability to go about his normal routine without feeling closeted in by you. Many men complain that their girlfriends don’t give them enough space and demand that they account for all their spare time. While this might seem interesting and even cute at the beginning of a relationship, it can become quite a strain as time goes by.

Your boyfriend might have goals of his own that he needs to

Expect Too Much From Relationship

A good guy is still a good guy in a book or on the silver screen. He can still be head over heels in love with his wife and not cheat on her. He can still make her feel desirable and sexy. He can still make her feel that her opinions count and lets her be part of the decision-making of important purchases. And she can still make him feel like he’s king of her castle.

Most women aren’t looking for Superman, no matter how strong he is. They’re more inclined to look for Clark Kent who personifies a loyal, sensitive, good person.

They might drool over the good looks of Superman but they’d rather have Clark Kent, who comes across as dependable all the time, rather than just when an emergency occurs. Superman is always flying off somewhere to battle the bad guys. That can get old very fast. Most women want a man to stick around in the evenings to talk to and snuggle with; they don’t want him flying off somewhere.

The interesting thing is that money and good looks are at the bottom of the list. At the top of the

About Love Is Painful

Love is a feeling, and your childhood shapes the way how you experience it. If you connect love with positive feelings like joy, you are unlikely to read this post. But what if you connect it with pain or struggle?
It’s something you should look at and heal with self-compassion. You can’t change the past, but you can create a better future. Take care of this little child within you that has lived through so much pain in love. Her childhood wasn’t easy. She has experienced suffering. Her parents may never have been able to give her the love she needed.

And you are a beautiful woman now, and you can give her the love she deserves. She won’t receive this from anybody else. Only you can give it to her. This way she can stop to look for love in painful places. The more you nurture the relationship with your inner child with compassion, the more you will free yourself from the influences of the past. Why should you change this? I know that you were an innocent child. You didn’t deserve to experience love as pain. But you can’t change the past. You can only

Forgive Anyone Anything

Not if I wanted to live. Besides resentment having a physical effect on my body that nearly killed me, it hurt me in so many other ways.

  • Divorce – I had no harmony to bring into a marriage. Only anger.
  • Estrangement From My children – Resentment had so hardened my heart that I became mean and unforgiving and you know what they say about stuff rolling down hill.
  • Unemployment – I took my anger out on people at work and could always justify my quitting over “their” wrong actions. But it was really my anger history that disrupted my work.
  • Alcoholism – Besides it being an inherited disease, my inability to deal with stress was a contributing factor to hiding in alcohol.

I want to assure you that with God’s help you can forgive anyone anything and you can stop allowing resentment to destroy your happiness.

Let me give you a few examples of some of life’s biggest resentment-makers:

  1. Abandonment: by parent, spouse or best friend.
  2. Abuse: Physical, mental, emotional or sexual.
  3. Betrayal: Cheating spouse or someone in authority.
  4. Favoritism: Being overlooked for someone else’s benefit, to your detriment.

I know you can think of many other causes that

Attract Healthy Relationships

Another way unhealthy relationships begin is when we try to fill our own “void” – the emptiness that the inability to love ourselves leaves us with – with the feeling of being “loved” from someone else.

We expect that their love is enough. We feel that our new partner’s feelings for us will fill the void. It won’t. No matter how hard you try, that “void” will always come back to haunt you. So, how do you begin to even tackle an issue as large as life as not being able to love yourself? Awesome question.

First you need to figure out the first instance in your life when you felt you could not, or would not love yourself. Follow that up with other moments in time you felt that same way. If it was a result of someone else’s actions, behaviors, or words towards you – realize these two truths of human nature:

• People make the best choices available to them in the moment (we’re talking psychological here, not recognized consequences of actions), and

• Every behavior has a positive intention.

Second, you need to understand that it was no ones

About Believing in Others

Recently, and maybe this is due to years of living, I find that it is critical to believe in others and to let them know it loudly, clearly, and frequently. Although I realize that I am nervous about some of my decisions and wonder about what others might think or how they might react to my choices, I never really stopped to consider that I might depend on this feedback from others whom I respect to keep me motivated and plunging forward. I do not refer to sideline cheers and backslaps of encouragement, but rather that all-out faith that others exude and share as I move forward with life. I also do not mean accolades and public endorsement as I do not need these to keep myself focused and determined. Instead I am talking about people who note the little things – a poster I designed and the details contained on it, the plan I have laid out that includes minute guidance and direction, an idea that I have fielded with a request for input and participation. It is the trust and conviction that others place in me that allows me to forge onward with trust and conviction

It Is So Hard to Move On

1. You are not ready to give up on the relationship you had thought was going great. There was a time that things were going great between the two of you and maybe it can be that way again. It can be normal to want to bring back those good feelings you had and maybe it is even possible. The thing is how can you ever make it happen?

2. Could you believe your ex still has feelings for you? You could be right, deep down inside them they could still care about you. But you have been getting the cold shoulder treatment after breaking up which means those feelings are buried deep. Over a period of time your ex will be dealing with their personal consequences of the break up and could ultimately move on. On the other hand your ex may find they still have love in their heart for you and want to rekindle the relationship.

3. You may think you are ready to move on with your life but you still have strong feelings towards your ex. You think there is still a chance to get back with them and want to

Healing and Forgiveness

Do be honest. This has to be the hardest thing. We either learn to see truthfully – which takes courageous and dignified humility – or we ought to give others permission to speak into our lives. The former is far more dignifying. But we need the latter, too.

Don’t add to the other side’s burden, or for that matter, anyone’s burden. Too often I made the issue about them and brought them into it. And at times I’ve drained people because of the bad vibes I felt I needed to express. Find a sounding board who wants to be a sounding board.

Do keep short account regarding who you speak to and what you say. We can’t trust everyone, and even some we think we can trust are not trustworthy. How naïve would you say you are? The more naïve we are the more cautious we need to be.

Don’t force transformations that aren’t there yet. Sometimes we try too hard to forgive and we just prove readier to become more hurt. We expose our vulnerability and we get slammed. Allow the temperature of the heart to rise gradually to meet the climate in the

Some Secret to Loving Relationships

Make Relationship Time A High Priority

One of the greatest experiences in life is the sharing of love, and this takes time. Learning, growth, intimacy, connection and passion are the natural results of creating a safe, open, kind and loving relationship space, and all this takes times. Spending connected time together relaxing, laughing, sharing and cuddling are essential for creating a long-lasting, thriving loving relationship.

Cultivate an Intent To Learn With Yourself And Your Partner

We need to be able to rely on ourselves and each other to stay open to learning about our wounds and our resulting controlling protective behavior. There is nothing that grinds love down more than controlling behaviors, such as those mentioned above, or behavior that is intent on avoiding your feelings – such as ignoring your feelings, judging yourself and your partner, or turning to addictions to numb your feelings.

If you are currently not in a relationship, then take this time to learn to stay open with your own feelings and learn what they are telling you, rather than continue to abandon yourself when you feel pain. Learning to stay open with yourself makes it much easier to stay open with your

About Empathy In Relationship

In Balance

What this is going to show that is that one has the ability to give and they have the ability to receive. And as one is an interdependent human being, this is going to make it a lot easier for them to thrive.

It is through one being there for others that other people will be there for them. There may have been a time when one was there for others but they didn’t return the favour, and this could have shown that one didn’t value themselves, amongst other things.

Another Experience

But even though it is important to have empathy, it doesn’t mean that everyone has it, or that everyone has the same amount. So, if one lacks empathy, their experience on this earth is going to be extremely different.

When one is focused on their own needs and they are not interested in what is going on for other people, they could believe that other people exist to meet their needs. It is then going to be as if these people are an extension of them.

Take and Take

This is likely to mean that they won’t

Restorative Relationship Moments

Confrontation – none of us enjoy being confronted, and not many of us enjoy confronting, but good confrontations – where both parties feel empowered because they’re safe – is so important for relationship happiness. Confrontations implicit of love show that caring is an extension of the truth, because love ensures that the confrontation is productive. Love does not give up nor give in.

Listening – no list on good relationship moments would be complete without the word listening. We see it practiced so rarely, and we may hardly experience it. But, if we can be the ones who can start by listening well enough to understand, our relationships will be all better for it. Listening properly requires great faith to leave aside our needs to serve another person’s first.

Apology – I’m a big fan of Dr Gary Chapman’s five Languages of Apology, for we all speak ‘sorry’ differently. Every great relationship requires every person to apologise. Apology precipitates forgiveness.

Forgiveness – such a complex subject comprising a plethora of relationship moments. Forgiveness is God’s grace, redoubled in human form.

Restoration – transactions of forgiveness are fundamental to restoration.

Triumph – such a

Loving Yourself

As an only child with disconnected parents, I was often very lonely. The loneliness was so big that I learned seemingly positive ways of avoiding feeling this feeling – reading, doing arts and crafts, being immersed in school and spending as much time as I could at friends’ houses. In fact, I did such a good job of avoiding this feeling that I was completely unaware that I was often very lonely.

It came as a shock to me when, one day, I felt a searing pain throughout my body. I asked my spiritual Guidance what this feeling was and she said, “This is loneliness.” “Wow!” I answered. “No wonder I’ve avoided it all this time!”

My Guidance suggested that I hang out with the feeling, welcome it, embrace it and stay open to learning about what it had to teach me. I hung out with it for two months and it taught me volumes. One of the things it taught me was how to love myself through the loneliness.

The first thing I learned to do was to become aware of the feeling, then name it and embrace it with compassion. My inner child

Men Adore In Women

Responsible: A responsible woman is one who sees opportunities of service and responds to them quickly. Within her lies the ability to turn stumbling blocks to stepping stones. She is a great asset to her man because responsibility is a vital ingredient to a successful life. She is reliable and can be trusted with information, assignments etc. A responsible woman is efficient and effective; she sees a need as an opportunity to serve and sets out to meet that need! Her man is not perplexed with the load of family responsibilities for he has a help-mate. She is a good definition of two good heads are better than one.

Goal Oriented and Principled: This is a woman that is focused, has her eyes fixed on a destination and nothing deters her from reaching the goal. This woman knows her mind is the major capital she needs to venture in any endeavour so she works on her mind – feeds her mind with the right materials and heads for the top. She is not gullible or easily taken in rather she is ethical, coordinated and well-acquainted with things that has to do with her dreams and goals. She

Pick Right Partner

However, it will be very suicidal if you master that courage to propose and your proposal is turned down. Can you imagine how you will really feel when you do not succeed? You only have to keep on trying until you succeed.

The question is, how will you know whether the one you have chosen is your right partner; whether they really love you? Real love is a natural feeling which develops as time goes on, but the one who loves you will always express his or her concern for you. They will be ready to die for you, to share your difficult or joyful moment with you.

In this case, choosing the right partner will depend on the criteria you set in judging anybody that comes into your life. When you are very ambitious and set a high standard for yourself, you have to work at it. You know what you really want, so you don’t have to give up when your first attempt is turned down. You have to keep on trying until you finally grab your taste. You don’t have to settle down with anybody that comes your way, even when you are

All about Heart of Compassion

Learn about a part of the world you previously had no idea about. Find a part in their existence where they are less fortunate than you. Pray God fuse that in your mind and watch how the Spirit works.

Where another has an issue with you, go to them, and make peace.

Reverse your understanding. Stand in the other person’s shoes. Go deliberately against your feelings. Stay there for a time. Watch your heart soften.

Using your will, forgive someone you have loathed for some time. Forgive an act using your simple ability to decide.

Imagine some of the ways you’ve hurt God, and quietly recount these before him in prayer. Feel your heart heal in the process.

Notice the person you’ve favoured. Notice the person you’ve dissed. Notice how partiality has coloured your perspective away from compassion.

Go to a museum or take a history course or watch a history documentary on YouTube. Enjoy feeling smaller than you normally feel. Enjoy with gratitude the simple nature of being alive on the cusp of time.

Give someone your fullest attention, and keep doing so.

Make a study of God’s grace.

Women Fear Intimacy

Unavailable

If one is aware of their fear of intimacy, it is not going to be much of a surprise if they attract someone who is unavailable. They will know that they are a reflection of them, and there is then going to be less chance of them blaming the other person.

When one is not aware of their fear of intimacy, it can be even harder for them to handle another person who is unavailable. This can then be taken as another sign that they are never going to have what they need and they can feel as though the world is against them.

Available

Yet, this is not to say that they won’t attract people who are available; but when this happens, there are going to be other reasons why they are not ‘compatible’. They may say that they are not their type or they may meet them whilst they are on holiday, for instance.

In this case, they are a good match but they live too far away, and while they may be happy to travel to see them, it is not going to match up with what they need.